The new normal

img_1709If someone would of told me that getting into an abusive relationship when i had just turned 14 would affect my whole life and my physical body years after that relationship ended i would of done a lot of different choices. I had no idea that violence could break you open and fuck you over the way it has. Sadly the scars on the inside wont heal with your bruices. The stress an abusive relationship brings can fuck up your physical body in a way i didnt even know was possible. Stress is a motherfucker. So this is my life today. Doctors office, treatments after treatments after treatments… i oftentimes wonder if i will ever get back the old fearless, wild, adventurous me… and honestly i dont think i will. Violence changed me. If anyone in anything close to an abusive relationship is reading this, let me be an example of how you dont want your life to turn out. Make better choices. Love yourself and know you are worthy. I didnt. I saw a caption on insta the other day that said «i decided im not healing anymore. I AM healed.» I thought that was so beautiful and was gonna post that one day #optimist but i realize for me thats not really the case as much as i want it to be. Im not healed. I am still healing. And im probobly gonna need a lot more time. And thats ok. Healing takes time and it takes patience.  #acceptance #ptsd #cfs #thenewnormal

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